God, What If He Can't Fly?
Sometimes, the dreams we have for ourselves or for our children don’t play out the way we envision. Most of us have dreams of our kids successfully completing high school, going off to college, and one day becoming self supportive. (Please, Lord!) I know I did.
When people learned that our third child was born with Down syndrome, several sent us a copy of Emily Kingsley’s story describing her own experience raising a child with a disability. The story is called, “Welcome to Holland.” The analogy is made of a couple who were on a plane heading to their well planned for destination to exciting Italy.
But upon landing, the flight attendant announces their plane has arrived in a different place - slower paced Holland. It wasn’t at all what they had planned for. The message in Kingley’s story is a reminder for all of us, that if we spend our “life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special...things about Holland.”
I’ve been open in sharing about Brady before. I didn’t sign up to raise a child with special needs. God bless those who do. Before Brady, I was much more comfortable with being self driven and focusing on my end goals. Success for me meant achieving those goals. I had career goals as a physical therapist, championship goals for my tennis. I had all kinds of goals that focused on… me.
Before Brady other people’s opinions of me and my family were important. Too important. In having a child who, in my then limited mind, didn’t “measure up” to other children, I felt my family could no longer be the picture perfect “King” family which I had some strange hopes of upholding. Presenting to others an image of me having well behaved and highly successful children (dressed in adorable matching outfits which I had sewn) was the goal.
But I was missing God’s mark for me. These were my goals. Not God’s.
God has been teaching me a new way of thinking. He is much less interested in what personal goals we achieve in this process called “life”.
God’s not impressed if we are able to “leap tall buildings in a single bound” like Superman.
He’s not interested in how many books I sell or instagram followers I may have.
He is not interested in our next new car or our buying a bigger house or any of our efforts to “keep up with the Jones’.”
T.S. Eliot says it this way. “The Journey, Not the Destination matters.” It is our day to day, moment by moment, abiding in Christ that matters. God made us for the purpose of enjoying a relationship with Him.
Jesus tells us, He who abides in Me, and I in Him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” John 15:5. The abiding in this verse refers to our relationship with the Lord, drawing our strength and our hope from Him. So what if my son couldn’t “fly” with the big boys and play on his high school teams? So what if he didn’t graduate with a regular diploma?
Landing in “Holland” represents all those places for which we may never have signed ourselves up. No doubt you have your own unexpected “landings” onto roads which are painful and challenging. These unasked for surprises may have kept you from reaching the goals you have set for yourself. May I be bold to say this? If you are willing, these unplanned ventures will teach you to abide, to trust in the living God. There is not a more beautiful journey than this.
What is your Holland?