The Wedding Proposal - What Abiding Looks Like When You Don't Know What's Next

There is no doubt my son, Brady, and his sweet Mary Alice, who also has Down syndrome, love each other. Their laughter and affection can be heard in their 4 p.m. and 9 p.m. Facetimes together every single day. You can see how much they care for and protect one another whenever they’re together. Dating for three years now, their love continues to grow. 

When it comes to their future as a married couple I can feel a bit unsettled and scared. They cannot drive themselves, manage their money, nor hold down a full time job. How do you ever know if you’ve sufficiently prepared for a future you have never seen played out in other people’s lives? Many may question if we should even try.

So what does a young man do when he has met the love of his life and he wants to spend the rest of his life with her? He starts by asking her parents for their blessings to marry their daughter. Though Brady initially did this in the grocery store checkout line when Mary Alice’s mother and I happened to be in line together, he did build up the courage to ask both parents more appropriately a short time later. In Brady’s own words... “It would be my honor to be your son-in-law.” Well said and permission was granted!

Brady’s  love for his woman was officially declared on New Year’s Eve - 2019, when he dropped to one knee, proudly held out the engagement ring and asked Mary Alice to be his wife. There was a pause. She squealed and said “Yes.” They hugged. We cheered. It was a very sweet proposal.

Now what? Where are the books to show us what comes next? Where is our check-off list of the things to come?

Does faith mean stepping out completely uninformed and unprepared? No it doesn’t but it does mean taking steps into some unknowns and believing that God will be faithful to show you what your next step should be. Here is one of my favorite promises from God. I refresh God’s memory  of it often. “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’ Isaiah 30:21” Faith is believing that your next step is not being taken alone but is done with God closely guiding you. Faith quiets the fear.

My hope is not in my own abilities to figure out all of the details of my child’s future. My hope is in the Lord who is faithful and able to see us through the future one step at a time. God made Brady and Mary Alice. He allowed them to meet and to fall in love. God ordained marriage. So why not ask Him what to do next? For me, faith sometimes sounds like this. “Lord, you made my son. You need to show me what I’m supposed to do with him.” I’m not being rude with God, just honest. It is my way of reminding God that He’s the One steering this ship and I need to know how to paddle.

Hebrews 10:23 says, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”  I have professed in prior writings that I believe in a God who is Sovereign and good. I’ve professed that I believe God created my son, born with Down syndrome, on purpose and for a purpose. (See him in his tee-shirt from an earlier blog post for living proof!) I’ve shared openly that there have been many struggles since Brady was born in learning to see things from God’s perspective. I still have my struggles, almost daily. (And Brady is not my only faith struggle by any means.) So what hope am I holding onto?

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1”  I know what I hope for. I hope that my son and his precious wife-to-be will be happy together and enjoy a long and healthy married life. I hope they can live as independently as possible.  I know that God will be faithful through it all.

What is it you need to have faith in today that can only be accomplished with God showing you your next step?