Another Life Worth Living
Meet my friend, Brian Cooper. Most of his friends know him as “Coop.” Although he has Cerebral Palsy (CP) and is dependent on others to meet nearly every single one of his physical needs, Coop will be quick to tell you, “I’m no different than anybody else. I’m just sitting down all the time.” I’d like for us to take a look together at a day in the life of this amazing man. He inspires a lot of people. I hope that he will inspire you and cause you to ponder this: What makes your life worth living. For Coop, living in a wheelchair and depending on others for almost every need doesn’t affect his worth at all. So why does my friend, Coop, see things differently than so many of us?
Let’s begin with a little education as to what my friend lives with. Cerebral Palsy is the most common motor disorder among children. Caused by abnormal development of the brain or injury to the brain before, during or shortly after birth, CP affects a child's ability to control his muscles. Symptoms can vary greatly among individuals. Many, but not all with CP, struggle with intellectual disabilities as well.
Coop says, “It was tough at first for my parents when I was diagnosed with CP, but they never treated me any differently than anybody else.” Coop’s mother, Peggy, agrees and says Brian swam with the family in the lake, rode in the ski boat, went trick or treating, mainstreamed in regular classes in school, was in honor roll and student council. He went to ball games and has always been the biggest sports fan even though he couldn't play. He was ok with that.
Most of our lists for the things that you and I are able to do without another person’s help would be endless. Here is Coop’s list:
Call, answer and talk on the phone. (He has his phone velcroed to a support on his wheelchair and keeps the phone on speaker.)
Text using his left index finger (his only arm or leg, hand or foot, finger or toe that is functional). Coop has his Facebook, Instagram and his Bible on his phone.
Operate his radio, CD’s and TV beside his bed
With a keen sense of humor (which he says he gets from his dad), Coop adds, “I need assistance for everything else. Except after midnight, I turn into an able-bodied person and walk around!”
Coop’s Schedule
Rise and shine is around 7:45-8:15 each morning. A call out to his mom lets her know he’s ready to get up. Peggy dresses him while he is still in bed and then transfers him to his electric wheelchair. Once he’s in his chair, Coop is able to maneuver independently throughout the house by operating the joystick on his wheelchair with his index finger. Next it’s breakfast in the kitchen which, like each meal, typically requires someone to feed him. Coop says, “I can, but “It’s easier to have someone else feed me or it's a mess of food everywhere.”
Coop enjoys being with his family, going to the store with his mom and to the mall with friends. He also likes to listen to CD’s, radio, and watch sports in his room. Even though he says he’s not ready for sleep, he chooses to be put back in bed around 6pm after dinner. This gives his parents their own time together as he talks with friends on the phone, etc. One of Coop’s favorite things to do is to send “encouragement” emails and texts to friends. I’ve been blessed by many of these
Below are Coop’s responses to some questions:
Do you struggle sometimes because of your disability? Coop’s initial lighthearted yet sincere response is “Everybody has a disability. On occasions I struggle,” he says, “If I ask someone for help, do they really want to help me or do they feel like they have to? A friend once said to me, ‘if they don‘t want to help you, that’s their problem and not yours.’ With my truly good friends I don’t struggle with feeling like I’m a burden.
Is there anything you are thankful for because you are in a wheelchair? I don’t know anything different from the way I am. A big part of this is I have great parents. My mom and dad both do a lot for me. I’m blessed to have them. The Lord knew what He was doing when he gave me my parents. Coop says he is thankful for the way he is able to connect with other people and help them learn about his situation and offer help to them as well. Any perks for living with a disability? Coops says, “If I had a real job, I probably couldn’t make the time to call my friends and check on them. I’m available. I have so many friends because of Young Life (a ministry he has been involved with for many years).”
What’s one way you connect with people? “I use eating as a learning tool. I will ask new people to help me eat. That way I can get to know them and they can get to know me. I’m not going to yell at them if they make a mistake. I try to make it fun for them and that way they relax. If they do mess up I have grace. I try to make a joke out of it. That’s just common sense.”
Are you able to stay by yourself? I love to stay by myself. I have my water (fastened on my wheelchair) and if I need something I have my phone. Even though I am dependent on others for many things I am independent thinker. 95% of the time, though, somebody is here with me.
Would you like to be in a relationship? I’m 41 years old. Of course I would like to meet a woman. But I think God wants me to be single so I can focus on helping other people.
Is it hard when people direct their questions to the able-bodied person standing beside you rather than asking you? Or when people speak to you as if you have no intelligence? Sometimes I have to prove to people I have a brain that works. Sometimes my able-bodied friends help them understand.
Do you want people to feel sorry for you? I definitely don’t want people to feel sorry for me. People are ignorant because they don’t have friends or family with a disability. I have a good life. Any pet-peeves? Just don’t look at me and stare.
What do you think makes a person's life worth living? For me it’s to help able and disabled people to get to know Jesus and also to let people know that it is alright to be who you are. At the end of the day God doesn’t look on the outside. He looks on the inside. He sees a heart for Him. That’s why I’m a positive person. But I’m not a perfect person at all.
Coop going down a waterslide being held by a friend
What do you tell families who have a child with CP? If they are a Believer, I share with them my life verse, which is Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Believing in Jesus is what helps me.
What questions will you have for God when you meet Him in heaven? When I see Jesus I will have no questions for Him. I would tell Him thank you for putting me in a wheelchair.
Do you think God is good? Why or why not? Yes, I wouldn’t be the person I am today without Him. He wants me to be in a wheelchair for a reason.
So Coop has shared with you, now I will end by asking, what do you think makes your life a life worth living?