8 Top Scriptures to Avoid a Pitfall #2 Ephesians 4:29
“Do I not have a right to say what I think?” was a question often asked after this person spoke a hurtful comment about someone else. My response was always the same. “Yes you have a right to say whatever you want. But is it worth it?” Sadly, this person lived a life of much regret because she never learned to bridle her tongue. It cost her getting to spend precious time enjoying the people she loved. Why? Because an offensive tongue drives people away.
This week we will look at a second Bible verse that, when applied, can help us avoid hurting others (and ourselves). I wish I could say I’ve mastered this one, but I’m far from it. I’m a work in progress. The verse is Ephesians 4:29. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Have you ever made a comment to someone and wished you could take your words back? I think we can all identify. I like the toothpaste analogy: speaking words of regret is like squeezing toothpaste from a tube and trying to push the product back in through the small hole. It’s a messy task to even attempt. Once it’s out there, it’s out there!
God understands the power of the spoken word, both his words and ours. The words of instruction found in Ephesians 4:29 are not intended to be merely a suggestion, rather a command God has given each of us to live by. The wise man Solomon, in the book of Proverbs, knew the power of the tongue when he wrote “But he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19) and “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity” (Proverbs 21:23). How can we control this small muscle which seems to have a mind of its own?
A good litmus test to pass before we speak is to make sure we can answer “yes” to these three questions: Is what I am about to say:
True?
Necessary?
Edifying (does it build others up)?
If the answer is “no” then we keep our trap shut. I think the Lord knows it is not possible to stay true to the commands of Ephesians 4:20 on our own strength. This is where the power of his Spirit works in us to equip us. With the Lord’s help all things are possible. The key is in asking for God’s help before we speak and then obeying his lead when He nudges us to be quiet. I confess I don’t do this often enough.
I think the author of James knew how hard it is to control our tongue when he wrote James 3:8. “But no one can tame the tongue.” Such a small muscle in our body yet it holds such power to bless or to curse, to build bridges to healthy relationships or to burn them. Proverbs 21:23 NLT says it even more clearly. “Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.” Wouldn’t we be wise to abide by this one!
Heavenly Father, I don’t want to live my life with regrets. Help me to think and to pray before I speak. Help me to speak words that encourage rather than condemn.
And as a very wise rabbit named Thumper once said, ``If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”