What's a Mom to do When She Doesn't Feel Qualified to be a Mom?
In this “What’s A Mom To Do? series I had some grand ideas of writing on various struggles I’ve experienced over the past 33 years while being a mom. In last week’s blog post I covered the challenges I faced during a three year adoption process of our son from Kazakhstan. Like many moms who have a handful of kids, I have dealt with enough “issues” to give me material to write in abundance. The problem is, I have never felt particularly qualified or really good at any part of my role as being a mom.
Except for one thing
I have never been consistent in holding my children accountable to following any type of family “ground rules.” I have not done even a decent job of teaching my kids how to handle their money or figured out the whole allowance thing so they could learn (though I’ve bought several books to someday teach them how). My kitchen is full of healthy foods which I eat, but I have never been successful in getting my kids to eat any of them. I still react far too often with a harsh word without taking the time to “respond” to my kids in love. You get the picture. I have messed up in so many ways of being a mom.
Except for one thing.
To hear my son, Tucker, say one of the biggest impacts on his life has been to see his mom consistently spending time with the Lord each morning - that’s the greatest compliment I could ever know. The one and only consistent thing I have done for the years I have had my children is to get up every morning and run to Jesus. I’m not boasting. And I have certainly missed a few days now and then. I am only admitting how desperate I am for God to give me His peace and to show me what I need to do next. If He doesn’t show up, I’m smart enough to know I’m sunk.
Reflecting on God’s Word and talking with Him is a discipline I once did because I knew every Christian “should.” Now it’s a delight that has become my favorite part of the day. I’ve made it a priority because I know I can’t handle the “load” I’ve been given on my own. I’m thinking you can’t either. And I want you to know that’s by God’s design.
We raise our children up so they don’t need us. God raises his children up to acknowledge how much we do need Him. Our burdens are blessings in that way. If your own burdens push you to spend time with God (and you follow through with it), consider yourself blessed.
I’ll repeat what I said last week. “Every difficulty gives us an opportunity to be more desperate for the nearness of God.” I realize that week after week as I write these blogs, in essence, I am saying the same thing. It’s ALL about Abiding. Parent or not, we are living in the most unsettling, craziest times most of us have ever known. There is only One who is good and certain and always in control. So dwell with Him, remain in Him...Abide in Christ.
Be like the toddler who sits atop his father’s foot, wraps his arms and legs tightly around his father’s leg, and is determined to hold on tight and go wherever his daddy goes. Get up and go spend time with the Lord. Wrap your arms around the truths God has for you. Hold on tightly to the Father. You and I need all the Jesus we can get!
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:3-5”
What might you choose to do differently tomorrow to help you lean less on your own understanding and trust the Lord?