What's a Mom to do When She is Tired of Being a Mom?

I wish these posts were less of a challenge to “birth out” onto paper each week. Gracious, it would be easier to write of things God has not found necessary for me to experience fully before taking a stab at writing about the experience. This one is hot off the press and I am struggling to put my frustrations into words. 

This “bread” served today for you is fresh from my oven and it may just be hard to chew. 

Here goes.

I am tired of being a mom! Did I just say that? I was a first time mama at the sweet young age of 26. Thirty-three plus years and four more children later, I still have three kids at home, two adopted and one with special needs. Two are now teenagers and one of those teenagers is a BOY! Need I say more? This boy showers so often that presently there are five towels piled up on his floor - FIVE.  And as I write, he just got in the shower AGAIN, no lie. He keeps saying something about his hair not doing right. I’m losing it here and my exasperation is way beyond all his wet towels. 

I will choose to leave out all details of why I’ve been pacing the kitchen, mumbling words under my breath as I exhale. I get it that teenage boys have hormones out of whack and brains which have years of developing still to go. They do before they think. And I woke up this morning to learn some of what my teenage boy was doing before thinking all through the night. I have not an inkling of what this mom is to do to deal with this one. 

I’m tired of trying to figure it out. Today, I’m tired of being a mom.

All I know to do is to run to Jesus; to get out of my bed, fill my cup with coffee and head to my spot on the porch. There my journal, pen, devotion books and Bible wait for me. And Jesus waits patiently, too. His Presence calms me and I am in no hurry to get up and leave. I need this time with Him. My children need for me to sit here and be with Him. Especially the one who was “doing before he was thinking” last night. 

Jesus absorbs my punches and blows, my grumbling and complaining as this tired out mama gets to vent. I often prayer journal as I vent. Jesus lets me speak to him unmotherly thoughts and He holds no judgement. He says it’s okay for me to bring it all to Him. Then I don’t feel the need to take my grumbling elsewhere. Jesus lovingly listens. His grace keeps on pouring over me. My breathing slows as I work at handing over each issue which I cannot control. Daughter, will you trust Me with this one? Will you let Me carry these other ones too?

When I take the time to read from God’s Word - Old Testament, New Testament, Proverbs and especially the words of David throughout the Psalms which call on the Lord to be our Shepherd, Rock, Deliverer...  I experience settling within my mind and soul.  Oh God, I am desperate for you to be in me what I cannot be. God, give me the want-to today to be the mom you have called me to be. God is near.

The Bible is packed with wisdom to show us all what our next steps need to be. 2 Timothy 3:16 tells us that “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.”  While I am reading and meditating on a passage of Scripture, his Word, this very breath of God breaths its life into my weariness. As his Spirit begins to fill me, my own inabilities begin to be replaced by HIS abilities. It is not me who must come up with a plan to deal with my parenting issues. God will be faithful to show me the way. I will wait on Him.

I may be tired and weary but God’s mercies are new every single morning. (Lamentations 3:23) It is His Spirit inside each of us that holds us together until He shows us the way we are to go. And when we do, it is God who will strengthen us to rise up again and do all that He has called us to do. 

Who will you choose to run to first in the morning?