What’s a Mom to do if she Finds Herself Single Again? Part 5 - So You Think You’ve Got “Chemistry”? Now What?
Am I the only one who binges on romantic Hallmark movies during the Christmas Holidays? If you’ve watched enough of them, you can predict the story’s ending the moment you see that look of “chemistry” between the two characters who just “happen” to find their paths randomly crossing. Typically, their personalities appear to be polar opposites with few shared similarities. Except for one. They have “chemistry.”
In re-reading my previous posts on dating I realized that I have left out a very necessary component for any long term relationship to be successful. Personally I have dated a couple of wonderful men who did indeed check off many of the quality “boxes” I desire in a relationship. Their personalities were engaging. Our conversations were great. They were fun to be with. But something crucial was missing.
This missing piece of the dating puzzle is mysterious and powerful. We can’t see it or put our finger on it. But we can feel it. And it feels very special. A wise friend once told me, “All great relationships have chemistry; though not all relationships with chemistry are great.” It is indeed a mystery.
The necessary connectedness found with chemistry is not something we can muster up on our own. With chemistry something within you “clicks” with the something within him. It just happens. Chemistry is either there or it is not. You can take a look at Song of Songs in the Old Testament and see the physical and spiritual bond in which King Solomon and his wife shared. They had very good, God-ordained chemistry!
The Dating Game in a Nutshell:
You have a desire to date and find your “someone” special.
You’ve gotten yourself to a healthy place emotionally and spiritually and are ready to begin the process.
You’ve invited God into the midst of your dating pursuit, and are praying every step of the way.
You understand fully how incredibly loved you are by your Heavenly Father. He delights in YOU!
You’ve taken some brave steps to put yourself out there and let folks know you want to date. You have done so with full honesty.
You think you may have found your someone special . . .
You know that you both love Jesus and are committed to inviting Christ into this dating process wherever it may lead.
You’ve got chemistry!
NOW WHAT??
Honestly, I’m not able to speak past #8. It’s where I am at today and it is as far as I have gotten in this dating journey. It’s an exciting place to be and yes, at times, it still feels scary. I’ll keep you posted.
I will finish up this dating series by encouraging you to make this ONE thing your focus while you pursue your match. Spend time each and every day getting to know your first love well. Walk closely beside the Lord Jesus, sharing with Him your fears, your questions, your excitement. Ask God for his help and trust him to guide you through this process. He will not mislead you. His Holy Spirit will warn you with the spirit of discernment if you are heading into a relationship in which you do not need to be. God’s Word will keep you out of places you do not need to go. Your Christian friends you allow to walk alongside you will also serve to guide and protect you as you pursue love.
My friend, do not let your fears or past failures rob you of something wonderful God may have in store for you as you step forward in your own dating adventure. May God bless you richly with the desires of your heart. You’re worth it!