Afraid of What to Say? Scriptures to Avoid a Pitfall - #6 - Mark 13:11
I’ll begin writing this with a confession. I attempted to complete this blog post last week. I knew the verse I wanted to share with you and I thought I could get my head around what this verse looked like to walk out. Mark 13:11 has served me well many times in the past. But the Lord wouldn’t give me the clarity I needed to share with you until He taught me more.
(I love to learn but I don’t love the strain of growing pains). God knew this writer would be quite the hypocrite if I offered instruction without first being able to take my own advice for something I’m dealing with personally right now. It’s been a week full of “opportunities” to trust God further. How about you?
Have you ever experienced the stress that comes from anticipating a difficult conversation you know you must have with someone? That someone may be a friend, relative, co-worker, an “ex”? Basically you are afraid of saying the wrong thing and you dread not knowing how your discussion will turn out. You might have memories of past discussions with this person which didn’t go well. Honestly I would rather clean a dozen toilets than to face possible conflict. I hate confrontation. What if my good intentions are misunderstood?
We have two very different approaches we can take when facing this sort of dilemma. Which one can you best relate to?
You stay up all night mentally rehearsing your “speech” and everything you could say in response to what the other person might say. You worry about how your words will come out and how they might be received. Your mind anticipates a negative response. You talk to other people about what you’re to say but you fail to ask God what to say.
Consider the words found in Mark 13:11 (NIV), a passage worth reading, meditating on, and memorizing. Do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you (by God) at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.”
So what does this approach to facing a difficult conversation look like? The verse sounds so simple; essentially, “don’t worry, trust God, and He’ll provide you with the right words to speak.” I know Scripture is clear on worry - worrying will not add a single hour to our life. Nothing good comes out of our worry (Matthew 6:27). But this is so much easier said than done!
Understand that this verse does not say we aren't to prepare ourselves for the things ahead. If there is work to be done to gather information we need before we talk then do so. The important thing is for us to remember:
We never go into a situation alone. The Holy Spirit goes with us.
We are to trust and believe that God is bigger than our conversation and our fear.
Jesus, the only opinion that should matter, will never reject us nor stop loving us so we never need to fear other’s rejection.
We are to cover our upcoming conversation in prayer. Ask God’s Spirit to guide our every word. Ask Him to restrain our mouth from saying anything unwholesome or critical (Ephesians 4:29).
Ask others to pray for our anticipated conversation.
Jesus knew, when He was speaking these words of instruction in Mark 13:11 to some of his disciples, that these fishermen were not capable of themselves to address the many questions they were going to face. Yet Scriptures say they spoke with fearless wisdom. How?
The disciples spent time in the Lord’s Presence. They knew his teaching.
They relied on God to give them fearless power to speak.
They released control and surrendered to the influence of the Holy Spirit (if they felt the Lord guiding, they followed His lead).
They put their confidence in God’s ableness and not their own.
Have I mastered this when dealing with difficult conversations? Absolutely not. I struggle to release my anxious thoughts and fully trust the Lord to lead me. Yet I know the One who wants to help me. When I take a slow deep breath and read back through what the disciples did, I feel a calmness and an assurance that God will see me through whatever conversations I need to make.
Father, I need you. I don’t want to carry this weight of worry about a conversation I cannot control. Lead me in the coming hours in every decision, phone call, word I speak so that you will never be dishonored. Guard my tongue and speak through me. I don’t know what I need to say.
If you find this post helpful, would you share it with a friend?