What the Heck is Normal?

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We think we know what we want when we start having children. We want our children to have ten fingers and ten toes . . . and to be normal. But really, what the heck is normal?

Here’s what Webster has to say of the word “Normal”: Conforming to a standard type, typical, regular, or as expected. That sounds boring to me. I was thinking normal might mean being healthy and happy and having a lot of friends at school. Really, what is normal?

I journaled the following words several days after my son with Down syndrome was born: “God, my son is not whole. He won’t enjoy the things other children do. He will not marry, have children, be self supportive. He will be stared at and mocked.” 

I was hurting. I was grieving the loss of the normal child I thought I would have. But I was looking at things from this momma’s heart. Things that I wanted for my son.    

 

What was broken here? My son or my perspective for having children? Did Brady need to be healed or did I need the borders of my heart to be expanded to appreciate something extra - ordinary?

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.  Isaiah 55:8 NLT

The months surrounding the birth of my son brought a time of intense emotional and spiritual struggles. Were my son’s genetic differences a mishap in his DNA? Was he a mistake that slipped past God? I had to believe in the Sovereignty of God - that nothing, including my son’s genetic differences, takes God by surprise. 

Here is what I know to be true:

  • God doesn’t make mistakes. 

  • God is Creator of all things.

  • God is in complete control of everything. 

  • God is Sovereign and He is good. 

I still don’t fully grasp God’s ways of doing things. The struggles I went through with the birth of my son with special needs were the first of many unexpected turns in life which have shown me that our God is not ordinary nor boring. 

It comes down to trust. Do we trust God? Will He be faithful to show us how to walk each step of our new normals - whatever they may be? 

Special NeedsKirby King3 Comments