What's a Mom to do When She Experiences Apathy? (Part 3)
Photo used by permission from jonkmanphotography.com (Also used on the cover of “Walking Through Fire Without Getting Burned.”)
Apathy is toxic. Feelings of indifference are the opposite of LOVE. Apathy robs us of our joy and our peace. The bottom line is Satan loves our apathy and there lies the problem.
In Part 1 of this three part series on experiencing apathy, I defined apathy as a feeling one has when he or she is without passion, motivation or hope toward a situation or a person. It’s a pretty pitiful condition. I’ve been dealing with it for months in a tough situation with my teenage son. It had become easier to make myself believe that I no longer cared and that I was done trying. It was frustrating to say the least and not a great way to parent - and probably not going to make me a candidate for “Mother of the Year” Award!
Over the past three weeks I’ve been studying to better understand this dangerous state of affairs in hopes of beating this thing. I’m sick of making myself think that I don’t care. I do care. I love my son and my son, like every son, needs his mom to care.
Many of us have grown weary of a particular person or situation in our life. We’re human and we need to begin by extending ourselves some grace. Today, I’m happy to say that I’m beginning to make some significant progress in my ailing attitude. I pray that the following will get you over your apathy hump as well:
The “want to”: Ask God to give you the “want to” to keep caring.
Determine the cause: What may be causing your apathy? It’s not enough to just acknowledge who the person (or circumstance) is that one feels indifferent towards, but also “why” that feeling is there. (I believe the root of my apathy may be my resentment towards my son. He’s just more challenging to parent than I’d signed up for.)
Resentment is a feeling of anger that comes when you have been forced to accept something you didn’t like. Bitterness takes root.
3. Forgive: Forgive the person you feel resentment towards. Forgiveness is the way we get rid of our resentment.
In every difficult season or situation we are going to feel stresses and emotions that are hard to handle. Instead of staying stuck in the weariness of those emotions we have a choice. If we will allow God to give us direction and a new perspective, if we ask Him to continually help us to forgive and extend the grace needed in the midst of our apathy, there is much hope.
4. What I like about you: Start writing a list of positive attributes you can find of the one in whom you are struggling. These worthwhile qualities are there.
I’m going to continue to work on finding the good, the blessings in the child God brought to us from the other side of the world. I am going to hope with an eager anticipation for a continued breakthrough here.
5. Next step: Ask yourself what’s the next wise thing for you to do to improve the situation and then do it! (Who would have ever thought that removing the XBox in our house would have helped the situation?) Problem-solving will always be more productive than remaining passive.
6. Be determined.
Living with apathy is not who we are in Christ. Be determined to give your apathy the fight of its life! God is able to do great things in our weakness if we give him a willing heart and enough room to work.
“But thanks be to God! He gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1Corinthians 15:57-58”
What might be your next wise thing to do to improve your situation?